So, I have finally decided to start a blog. I was checking out other mommy blogs and looking at their Instagram. I see beautiful kids’ meals and fun DIY activities. And then something hit me, the truth is, I am just not that kind of parent.
I cannot make heart shaped nuggets or make my kids eat up their veggies in pretty little patties. I also cannot build a castle using recycled materials. It reminded me of my previous Instagram (@thewrapy, now @iamnicoleboo). I started the Instagram featuring all my babywearing photos. My husband and I would plan where to take the kids out for the weekends and we will do our photoshoot at the same time. But this changed after the arrival of my 3rd baby. It was harder for me take outdoor photos without worrying about my toddler running missing or hurting herself. I find myself constantly trying to take that perfect photo, but motherhood isn’t perfect. One day, I decided I have to stop. And I took a break from my own Instagram.
So what EXACTLY is this blog about?
Parenting can feel like a lonely journey even when you know many others have gone through the same thing. Every mother has their bad days, and that’s ok. I want to keep this blog about motherhood as real as possible, showing the good, the bad and the ugly side of it. To all the mothers out there: You are not alone.
There are only 3 topics in this blog, and this is exactly what this blog is about:
KIDS – It is (NOT) just about the Kids
Honestly, I give every new mom the same advice. Don’t listen to anybody’s advice. There are so many different opinions and there is no one way to do something. Find someone you trust to bounce ideas and questions off of, but ultimately do what feels right in your heart. – Tiffany Jenkins @jugglingthejenkins
I am not a professional, and having 3 kids don’t make me an ‘experienced mom’. Every kid is different and with kid(s), every day is different. Many times I struggled because it seems like yesterday I was only my mother’s child. And the responsibility of a mother comes as soon as the baby is delivered. I want to share the different challenges I faced with children, the funny things that say or do, and the conversations that make me wonder.
My kids keep us very busy in our lives and I am super grateful for having them. However, that doesn’t mean I should always be busy for them. I tried planning activities just for my kids. It was nice to see the smiles on their faces when they are having fun. But after awhile, it gets tiring (and boring). My husband told me it shouldn’t always be just about the kids. He believes there should be a balance, and I fully agreed with him on that. Our goal: We are not just going to survive parenthood, we are going to have fun. I will share some of the simple activities we do together as a family, things we do to maximise our time together and how we do nothing at all.
SELF CARE – It is just about Me
A few changes in the last 10 years: I went from 0 kids to 3 kids, cut my hair from long to boy-short, a divorce to a new relationship.
Motherhood has changed me immensely. My dad used to tell me, among his 4 children, he worried the least for me. Because I am strong, I figure out things in life, I am a survivor. In many ways I am strong, independent, resourceful and a tigress mom.
But in other ways, motherhood has also made me weak. I could still remember after I gave birth to my first born. I was on the way home in a cab. Crazy thoughts just rushed through my mind: What if there is a car crashing into us now and my baby die? What if i drop him later and he dies? What if …. Tears came running down my cheeks uncontrollably. I stayed awake at night thinking to myself: Have I loved my children enough today?
Yes, motherhood has also made me weak, but in weakness, I find my true strength.
Be brave enough to be changed for the better – brave enough to let go of a bit of your old self as you grow into being a newer one – Rick Hanson, PHD
It’s easy to lose yourself in motherhood with the never ending list of demands. I could still remember after i gave birth to my first born, I didn’t brush my hair for the longest time. It got so entangled that the hairdresser had to chop it off. Shortly after my separation, my sister told me: You used to care about your appearance.
Yes, motherhood has changed my life greatly, it has limit my freedom and draw all the energy from me. But being a mother is an attitude. I thank my sister very much for that wake up call as I rediscovered myself. The old me is gone, but the new me is someone wiser and giving.
“The moment you become a mother and commit to caring for your child, set an intention for yourself: I will honor and respect myself by regularly taking care of my needs. This will make me happier and better able to care for my family,” Burton says. “As moms, we have an enormous opportunity to set a great example for our children of how to be kind to ourselves, and in turn, how to be kind to others. As the saying goes, we can’t pour from an empty cup.” Julie Burton @juliebburton
Many times mothers suffer from mom-guilt when they take away some time from their children to practise self-care. You can’t ignore self-care. It’s time to put self-care on your to-do list. I will share some of my simple daily routine and activities that make myself a priority.
ITCHY BUY – Everyone Loves Shopping
Okay, this was actually my husband’s ideas. This is where I share some of the stuff I bought, usually online. I personally find it therapeutic when I seen others’ unboxing their online loots. Psst, this is one of my self-care routine.